Sleep was so delicious. I would have preferred more than four hours, but I'll take what I can get.

I'm full of gripes today. I'm not particularly angry, just baffled. The world is a strange place, and I'm full of questions. Why has the number of pop-up (pop-under) ads on the web multiplied like rabbits when the ads are so deeply annoying? What's the value in exasperating a target audience? Why doesn't the CD player in my G4 play the hidden track on the Push Stars' Opening Time? Why was the ancient (and probably beautiful) elevator in my building refinished to look like a bathroom in a Boeing 727? Why does my cat push her water bowl into the doorway of my bedroom where I'll accidentally kick it and splash water everywhere?

And who writes the ad copy on the back of kitty litter bags, and how much does he get paid? Check this out:

Tidy Cats Long Lasting Odor Control formula provides another level of protection -- a time-release deodorizing system specifically designed to control odors over an extended period of time.

• Time-Release Deodorizing System Provides Extended Odor Protection
• Patented Aromaburst+ System Neutralizes Ammonia Odors On Contact
• Highly Effective Dust Control System Eliminates 99.6% of Airborne Dust

So, whether you have multiple cats or just one, Tidy Cats Long Lasting Odor Control is the ultimate weapon against cat box odor.

TIDY CATS. MULTIPLE STRENGTH FOR MULTIPLE CATS.

Someone got paid to come up with that slogan. It sounds like a pest-control problem. An infestation of cats. And I'd like to know where that statistic comes from: eliminates 99.6% of airborne dust. As compared to what? How did they measure this?

I checked the website. Yes, they have a website. www.tidycats.com. A website devoted to cat litter; I'm sure that gets lots of hits.

There's nothing on the website about their claims. There is, however, an impressive section of fine-print legal information promising to prosecute the living daylights out of anyone violating their copyrights, trashing their trademarks, libeling their litter, or looking at them funny, dammit. Ralston Purina is the Metallica of pet products.

I filled out their extensive contact form with all of my usual inaccurate information (did you know that the Vice President of the United States has his own zip code? I use it for all online forms), but hit an absolute brick wall with the Best If Used By date.

The site has a handy pop-up box showing you exactly where to find the BIUB date. I spent a good ten minutes examining my bag of cat litter in search of this fifteen-digit number and came up empty-handed. The site would not allow me to proceed when I hit continue, demanding that I provide the BIUB date. I tried using the number the site gave as an example, but no dice. Stymied.

So I filled out their website feedback form, explaining the BIUB situation ("Trust me, it's not there") and asking my questions about their claims of eliminating 99.6% of airborne dust. Stay tuned.