I am righteously indignant. (Is there any other kind?)

The UPS package which has evaded me in its first two delivery attempts is still not here. Between my broken doorbell and the UPS policy of not carrying cell phones, I've been unable to connect with the delivery guy. Considering that one of the two items in the package is an absolutely vital textbook, this is distressing.

Today, knowing I was down to my Final Delivery Attempt (after which the package goes to a holding center in the burbs, forcing me to drive out to get it), I came straight home after class and sat in the lobby of my building. There are a couple of padded, comfortable chairs and a table in the lobby directly across from the entry doors. You can't miss a person coming in or out of the building from where I sat.

I arrived around 2:00 pm and spent the next hour or so reading and jotting notes for a rhetoric assignment. Sometime after 3:00, my superintendent showed up with his perpetual smile, and we hung out and talked and laughed for another hour. When he left to get back to work, 4:30ish, I called UPS on my cell phone and asked them where my package was.

The woman at the other end looked it up and said that the driver had made a final delivery attempt at 3:53 pm today. Excuse me?

"Ma'am, he is lying," I said, enunciating carefully. "I've been sitting in my lobby since 2:00 and no one from UPS came by. I'm sorry to be so harsh, but he. is. lying."

"You've been in the lobby since 2:00 and no one from UPS showed up?"

"I've been sitting right here since 2:00. My superintendent was sitting with me for a while and he'd back me up, along with some workmen I saw coming and going throughout the afternoon. The driver is lying. Plus, if he'd been here, he'd have left a Sorry We Missed You slip."

Rapid typing on the other end. "I'm just gathering this information into a note to send to the holding center so we can get that package back out to you," she said. Then she rattled off a neat précis of the situation, took down my home phone number so the holding center could reach me, apologized on behalf of the driver, and wished me a good evening. Why is someone so sweet and efficient working for UPS?

So I'm waiting for the holding center to call to arrange a delivery plan. I don't mind waiting in the lobby, as long as I have a general time period in which to expect the package. And I still don't understand why UPS drivers don't carry cell phones.

But the moral of the story is this: if you're going to lie, make sure the person affected by your lie can't prove you wrong.

Update, 6:45: situation resolved. The driver came back, followed another tenant into the building, and left my package in the mailroom. The holding center called to tell me that it had been delivered. Thank you, UPS, and don't let the door hit your butt on the way out.